dessertfirst4me

Get well soon

2009-07-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

Asha isn't feeling well today : (
Prescription: 1 dog, 1 cat & lots of snuggles......

End of an era

2009-07-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Last week was spent in Honoka'a for Cyrus' final Little League All Stars Tournament games. It's been an emotional time, wondering where he'll play next, pondering the possibilities for him to play ball as he gets older and leaving the tumultuous LL years behind us. We won't miss the politics of it all - holy cow! But this crossroads is exactly what we had in mind when we came so close to moving to California a few years ago. The challenge of supporting our son's passion - and that word, "passion", almost doesn't seem strong enough here- while living at the end of this road out here on this island, way out in the middle of the Pacific could get interesting. Part of me wants to be scared of what that could look like. But the part I want to nurture, the part that is more true to my nature, is that part that is excited about where this adventure will take us next!
Here is Cyrus in his element:

Happiness is:

They finished 3rd in the tournament behind the 2 Hilo teams (one of whom wins it every year).

Dipping my toes in

2009-07-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

I am feeling it. The urge to blog again. And dare I say the" time" to blog again? I'm going to take it slow. Dip my toes in. Test the waters. I am feeling a renewed urge to connect and reconnect online - to add my voice and share our life and I have missed following along with my favorite fellow bloggers. So here goes.......

her favorite canvas

2008-11-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

Asha has always created stunning art on herself. Her objective today was to "scare the pants off Cyrus and Maya". She was going for "spooky" and "haunting". I think she achieved just that! We are going to have to figure out where to put a large mirror in the new house that she can sit in front of on the floor with her "paints" as she does now.

I need to figure out how to use my new phone

2008-10-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

I didn't take this picture with my new,fancy phone. I don't know how to use the many cool features yet. If I did I could have already posted about the tons of things we have been doing in between the practices and classes and meets and training and games. We seemed to be the only people at the zoo who took any notice of this event. And believe me, it was difficult to miss! Not because they were out in the open - they were in a corner and I actually had to crane around a fence to get this shot. But I have no idea how you could walk right by without investigating, as we did, the incredibly loud and rhythmic grunting of this male tortoise! My kids aren't ones to just walk on by! And boy did it make for a memorable moment! We laughed til we cried- and new knowledge - who knew they made noises like that?!

I haven't blogged in a while and while I was scrolling back through older posts trying to find some inspiration to write I started to feel like the majority of my posts are about BIG milestone moments and accomplishments in tangible and measurable terms. It was bothering me. Especially in light of a recent thread on Always Learning about unschooled kids and organized classes/activities/sports. My kids do A LOT of those! And it isn't the first time I have felt conflicted about it. My discomfort in the nature of these posts comes from the fact that I don't feel like those moments and achievements that dominate this space are an accurate reflection of the whole of our lives. I see this blog as a chronicle of the unschooling life our family leads. Seeing all of those "moments" I wonder, "do I put too much emphasis on 'accomplishments'"? But really, I don't think that I do.

My thoughts during the AL thread were like this: My kids participate in a lot of activities. They choose all of them. They are free to try new things and move on from old ones at any time. We know lots of schooled kids who only get to choose 1 "extracurricular" activity because their lives are so filled with school and schedules and homework. I have always thought we were lucky to have the space and time to choose to participate in many things -and there are so many things to choose from! The irony, of course, is that those activities all pile up create a packed schedule and suddenly our time is not free and open, but it is also not full of things that we don't want to be doing. The kids freely choose how they want to spend their time.

There is a Subway commercial on TV that makes me cry - and I don't mean in that Hallmark or Folgers at holiday time or cotton commercials when you're pregnant kind of way. This girl - maybe 10 or 11 years old is talking about how she never gets to choose anything in her life. She says she is told what to do, when and where to go, what to wear what to read, etc... and that is why she loves Subway - it is the one place in her life that she gets what SHE wants!!! How yucky and horrible is that?! When she describes her day to day life I always think she could just as easily be talking about someone who is in prison! And obviously the folks at the ad agency thought that this would resonate with kids!

So yesterday we had Asha's birthday party (I swear this as all related!) and we started out with the kids all decorating open faced sandwiches at the dining table. They had everything they needed at hand and all of the seats at the table were full, so my good friend, Sara, and I took our plates into the living room and sat on the couch to eat. Maya came into the living room and said, "Mom, I thought the rule was 'no eating where there is carpet!'" We live in a rental house with plush carpet in the living room. We also live in a tropical climate. In addition to stains and difficult to clean messes, food on the carpet leads to ants, which lead to roaches, which lead to the dreaded centipede (and these things - centipedes- are scary and I will take ants and roaches any day over centipedes, but if you get one the next is on the way)! These statements from the kids baffle me. Yes, we have asked the kids not to eat where there is carpet and discussed why and yes, we adults don't either. Is it a rule? I suppose it is the closest that we have, but we sometimes spread out sheets and eat while watching movies, or have drinks and applesauce and toast when someone is sick on the couch. I have tried so hard to create a life without arbitrary rules. My kids also know that they have the freedom to make choices that are right for them, and yet I still sometimes hear them tell people that "My Mom won't let me..." Huh? What does this mean?

Our schedule has been really packed lately. Each kid has at least a couple of scheduled activities they are involved in and my afternoons are spent shuttling them all to various venues. This will carry on until just before Thanksgiving. These past couple of weeks everyone has decided at one point or another to not go to practice or class. This is unusual, but a little down time felt right. They really do love the things they are doing. They are dedicated to their sports and endeavors in a way that I, frankly, find a bit puzzling, until I equate it with the way I feel about dancing. I understand passion.

Cyrus has always worked hard at baseball because it makes him really happy - it is his passion!. He has started jiu jitsu and is pushing himself really hard with conditioning and strength training as he works toward his goal of earning his yellow belt in record time - this is a new passion. He is really competitive and really goal oriented. He likes things that way.

Maya is pushing herself really hard in swimming with the goal of winning a ribbon in breaststroke at the championships in November. She is doing this for herself - it is what she wants. She trains in the pool just about every day of the week.

Asha just really enjoys going and being social. She is way less goal oriented than the other 2. She enjoys the physical mastery of her dances and aikido moves, but isn't coming from the same driven place that Cyrus and Maya seem to enjoy. Her passion is in the doing - it is a little easier for me to relate to.

In all of these things Billy and I support and cheer and drive and pay and encourage and celebrate with them, but they go for it because they love it. Billy "gets" this way more than I do. He was a driven athlete who pushed himself so hard that he had to have both of his shoulders reconstructed at 15. His parents said everyone assumed they were pushing him, but they thought it was pretty intense for a kid and even his coaches could not have made him do less.

I struggle to find a balance. I would like a less structured schedule. They love the structure. I would like to be more spontaneous. They love to know the plan. I wonder if all of this goal oriented activity is stifling their ability to find joy in the moment, but then I watch them play and I see that they are balanced. And I watch them train and compete and see that they know joy for joy's sake. Their drive isn't fueled by maniac stage parents or a need to be loved or feel successful in anyone's mind but their own.Their drive is fueled by passion.

Here is what the gist is for me. What draws me to read other folk' blogs is the chronicle of daily life. I like the mundane, the little moments that connect the big milestones. I am so busy with the mundane many days that I seem to only touch on the biggies here. I want to try to capture more of the little moments that we string together to create this BIG life. Geesh - now I feel like I could delete all of the previous long paragraphs, but it took writing them out to get me here. Maybe my new phone with the great camera and video features that I can supposedly upload right to this blog would help with that - if I could just figure out how to use it!ool

My Baby is 6!

2008-09-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

I started putting together a slide show of photos of Asha since the day of her birth and even with 0 photos of her between the day she was born and about 18 months due to our camera breaking it is amazing to see how much ground she has covered in her short life so far! And yet it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye!

Happy Birthday dear Asha - you bring joy and laughter and light and love in abundance into our world every day and I'm so glad you decided that you were ready to join our family even though we didn't think we were ready yet. I love you, birthday girl! You are such a blessing in my life!

2008-09-18T17:51:00.001-07:00

[dancingtree.jpg]

Friday Fill Ins

2008-09-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

Thursday, September 11, 2008
Friday Fill-Ins #89

1. I enjoy being naked.

2. House paint colors is something I wonder about often lately.

3. In your heart, you knew what only you could know.

4. Take kids, add a little garden hose and you end up with shreiking laughter that makes the neighbors curious.

5. Life has gifted me with a better family than I ever could have designed.

6. The beach house is an instant vacation.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to some personal grooming (epilating my legs), tomorrow my plans include Maya's swim meet in Hilo and a trip to the astronomy center afterwards and Sunday, I want to see my husband!

Our Family and other animals

2008-08-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Since watching the movie version of "My Family and Other Animals" the kids and I have talked a lot about how much we loved all of the outdoor spots that the family ate and relaxed and hung out. We have decided that we want to create a bunch of places to do just that at our new house. And yesterday at the beach with the cousins I walked down to find this:

A game of Apples To Apples on the beach (and later a huge tray of pupus and drinks arrived thanks to Auntie Katherine - who is seated in this photo).

Look who earned her "lellow" belt today!

2008-08-22T01:39:00.000-07:00

A big day here- Asha tested for her yellow belt!

Ta Da!! (and look how well it goes with the carpet!)

New season begin

2008-08-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

I really liked the sight of the 3 of them today all geared differently and off to their respective sports. (And no, Cyrus is not upset about having his picture taken or pissed off about anything for that matter. On the contrary, he is thrilled to be geared up and starting a new season again so soon! I mean are you KIDDING ME? This is BASEBALL for crying out loud!! And he takes his baseball very seriously!!... and seriously, that is fun for him - trust me:). I am often overwhelmed keeping up with all of the scheduled activities. I would not choose to have so many, but the kids all choose to do these things and really enjoy them. I had a fellow homeschooler ask me not too long ago how I dealt with it when the kids didn't want to go to their "lessons". Once I figured out that she was not talking about school lessons I told her that we almost never have that scenario because the kids choose and enjoy all the things they do. Occasionally someone doesn't feel like going because they are tired or involved in something else, but that is rare and when it happens we just skip it. There have been things that they have tried and then stopped doing too. This Mom then told me she wanted her daughter to continue the activity (in this case aikido) because she was sure she would be happy that she'd stuck with it and was so good at it once she was a teenager!! Her daughter is 7!!! I couldn't help it, I said, "I doubt I'd enjoy anything after years of being told I had to go when I didn't want to" The Mom's response was, "Yeah, maybe you're right. I sometimes wonder if I should just let her take a break." At which point I had to excuse myself before I got all worked up in front of her.

So we are really busy and my ongoing challenge is finding my joy in that. I just remind myself that this lifestyle is what brings the kids joy right now and I also allow myself to realize that it may not always be so easy to meet their needs for this kind of involvement and level of organized activity. We are pretty blessed to have so many quality options available living in such a remote and lightly populated area!

A new favorite quote

2008-08-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

I was reading (through my tears - the good kind - the happy, laughing, OMG I really need to pee!, kind) at theblogess.com which I found by following a link from Mary Gold at zenmommasgarden because she said it would make me laugh and I trust her judgment on that. I read this and appreciated it enough to quote her here:

"It was awesome and terrible. Like a tornado filled with glitter and pretty shoes."

And really, that is just what I need, another blog to read....

But who doesn't need to laugh more?

Ohana Fishing Tournament

2008-08-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the Ohana Shoreline Fishing Tournament. We went Friday afternoon to Coast Guard. Auntie Julie wanted to try for menpachi because it was going to be a full moon. Cyrus had some buggers with his line and lost several hooks. It was pretty to watch him cast out in the dark though with the green glow stick on his line and then to watch him reel it in through the water. Alas no menpachi were on the menu.

Asha was fishing for a while next to a small blow hole that would shoot up a small geyser any time a good set of swells rolled in.

It was refreshing in the heat of the late afternoon and really funny when we didn't realize that Billy was straddling it when he came later toward sunset. Maya said it sounded like one of those bumble bee fireworks that jump into the air.
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There were lots of small tide pools on the rocks and the most shallow ones were left with only sea salt:

Auntie Julie is so good to our family. Her and her husband, Uncle Paul, take Cyrus fishing almost every weekend. Those two embody the Aloha Spirit! Not to mention all of the yummy Filipino food that Auntie Julie shares with us!!

Asha was the only one to catch fish. And it was her very first time fishing! First she caught a small rock fish:

Which we held in one of the tide pools.

She whispered to me after a while when no one else was catching anything, "If they don't start catching something soon I'm afraid dinner tonight will leave us hungry!"
She cught it on a bamboo pole:

Then she caught a kopipi. Here she is with it today after her soccer game when we met Julie and Cyrus and Maya at Keokea. Maya caught a little rass while we were in Waimea for the game:

It was a beautiful sunset and the evening was really warm -even I thought so and didn't put a sweatshirt on 'til after 10pm!

There was a beautiful full moon which always takes my breath away when I spot it for the first time:

Can you see it directly behind the palm?

It would have been smart to pick up and gather our things together before the sun went down! As it was the moonlight was nice and bright which meant we only needed our flashlights for tying line and baiting hooks, but we lost the scissors and never did find them... good thing we had Cyrus' teeth with us!

After that gorgeous, calm night last night Julie tried to take Cyrus and Maya back to the same spot today, but there was surf and it was a little sketchy so they packed up and went to Keokea, but Maya was too freaked by the size of the waves to fish bamboo and Cyrus had more trouble with his line in the rocks, so we may try one more outing in the morning to see if we can catch anything else we could take to the weight in in Waimea at noon.

A cozy spot

2008-08-17T02:12:00.000-07:00

Thursday night while we watched the Olympics Asha disappeared and this is where we found her... fast asleep:

One of the things I like about this photo is the variety of the things on top of the coffee table.

Friday Fill-Ins: Friday Fill-Ins #85

2008-08-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Friday Fill-Ins: Friday Fill-Ins #85

Thursday, August 14, 2008
Friday Fill-Ins #85

Here we go:

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was pretty uninspired.

2. Feeling rushed is something I intensely dislike.

3. The full moon reminds me of the magical time when I met my husband.

4. "live aloha" is one of my favorite local expressions.

5. Sometimes it's best to just go to the beach.

6. "My Family and Other Animals" is the best movie I've seen so far this year!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to fishing under the full moon, tomorrow my plans include Asha's very first soccer game, fishing with the kids and watching the pig come out of the imu and Sunday, I want to have a lazy morning and see the community theater production of "The King and I" in Waimea!
Posted by Janet at 8:52 PM

Quirky Meme

2008-08-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

Quirky Meme
Mention six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them. Go to each person's blog and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged. If you participate, let the person who tagged you know you've posted your quirks!

I saw this meme on Sandra Dodd's blog and brought it here. So I wasn't tagged, and doubt I will tag anyone else, but I liked the idea of thinking about what might be quirky and boring (although I think I would prefer to call it "mundane") about myself.

1. I am very particular about the seat I choose at the table when I eat - either at home or out. I have this need to be with my back to a wall. If it is a restaurant and the table is not near a wall I will choose the seat with the least going on behind it. I don't like to feel that there are things going on that I am missing. Growing up our table had only one solid wall surrounding it and I sat against it. From there I could see the kitchen and anyone entering it from the rest of the house, the driveway, the front door, the living room, the deck and the street below where anyone arriving would have to pass by.

2. When I read a book I read every word in the darn thing! And I mean EVERY word! From the copyright info through the acknowledgments to the commentaries - even if they are praise for another book the author has written. And I do it not because of some weird superstition but because I actually enjoy it!

3. I have a bizarre unease and loathing about listening to the messages on my answering machine. My outgoing message actually states that I don't listen to them very often so if the caller needs to reach us in a timely manner they should call our cell phones ( numbers I don't provide on said message - I figure if I want to talk to them they already have that #). I don't know why I dislike listening to the messages as much as I do. I often put off listening to them until the machine is full - sometimes this takes upwards of 2 weeks! Which just makes it an even less enjoyable task because then it takes soooo long to do!!! I sometimes think I should just get rid of the thing, but I keep it because even though we do have caller ID we screen our calls if we don't recognize the #. A habit I developed when I had very small children and it was often inconvenient to answer the phone while I was nursing or reading books, or both or the noise level was just not conducive to conversation.

4. I have a series of abdominal and glute exercises that I do whenever I drive in the car and have the cruise control on.

5. I am a butt watcher. Yup - I love butts. I have very particular ideas about what makes for an attractive okole. I saw a lady on a show like Oprah (may have actually been Oprah but I no longer remember) who had a similar obsession and was a photographer who had published a coffee table type book of great butt shots. She stopped regular folks with butts she admired and asked to photograph them from behind for her book. It was the first time I'd heard of anyone else who was an admirer like me. I saw that show when I was about 12? and have since looked for the book without success - I guess others didn't "get it" like me.

5. I am completely overcome with emotion watching great dancers - and by great I don't necessarily mean from a technical standpoint, but the ones who dance with their hearts engaged. I experience a welling up of joy and gratitude and tears stream down my face and I can't stop smiling all at the same time. My body becomes electrified and I can "feel" what they are dancing!

6.I love christmas carols and sing them all year long.

Perfect beach days

2008-08-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

August has brought perfect beach days as usual! I used to love September the most, but now that the school kids go back in late July here on the island August is pretty great too - (for us, not them).

The cousins and Grandpa Bill are here from L.A. so we have spent many days down therewith them this week.

Maya's first fish

2008-08-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

Maya went fishing with Auntie Julie and Uncle Paul last Sunday for the first time and caught 3 rock fish (which were very yummy). One of the fish swallowed the hook and when Julie went to remove it the fish bit her finger! She was the only one who caught anything with a pole (Paul went diving and caught some surgeon fish). Cyrus cleaned them for us (and sliced his thumb on the blade of the aptly named surgeon fish) and we had Grandpa Bill up for dinner. Most Sundays we eat fish caught by Cyrus. Maya was very proud to join him in providing dinner for the family! Next weekend is the Ohana fishing tournament and both Maya and Cyrus are signed up. We'll fish Friday and Saturday and the weight in is Sunday in Waimea.

No Couch Potatoes Here!

2008-08-09T13:13:00.000-07:00

Go ahead - try and convince me that watching TV is a passive activity!

Micro focus

2008-08-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

While the rest of us climbed the rocks, playing hopping and balancing games, watching surfers and body boarders and marveling at the massive, sweeping cliffs that wrap the bay, Asha's focus was on a smaller scale. She notices the little things. She gets wrapped up in intricate small wonders. She creates and manipulates on a tiny scale. It is no wonder to me that she also tunes into people and animals with this same attention to details and nuance. She catches the "little" things that have a big impact. She detects small changes in mood and body language. She gauges emotional landscapes and instinctively knows where to find her footing and how to reach out and offer a steadying hand. She navigates the micro scale of situations with ease both in the physical and the emotional realm.

More from Tutu's Garden

2008-08-08T00:49:00.000-07:00

Stillness:

Contrast:

My sweet parents

2008-08-08T00:21:00.001-07:00

I was home for a weekend visit to my childhood home recently to attend my 40th high school reunion :O

These are my very sweet parents - and super star grandparents- otherwise known as "Tutu & Popu":

And this is the house I grew up in:

When I was growing up there we had a front lawn on a slope - the best front lawn for slip-n-slide ever (and for rolling down in several huge innertubes duct taped together, but not so great for sleeping on in nylon sleeping bags to watch the persiad meteor showers every August because you'd start out at the top and wake in the morning down at the bottom!:) But once the kids were gone Mom finally got her wish of a garden full of flowers and Dad finally got his wish of no grass to mow! So now the old lawn looks like this:

Being there feeds my soul. If I c an get into the woods near the water or in the mountains I have been to church! I made it to 2 beaches in 3 days and one involved hiking through my beloved Pacific NW woods:

AAAHHHHH!!!!

Our new house

2008-08-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Our house is starting to look like, well... a house! It has some walls up now and you can see all of the rooms laid out. By the end of next weekend we hope to have all of the walls up.

I have a separate blog documenting our building project if you want to check that outhere.
I don't know why, but I set it up with a password which is: opensesame

Progress may seem slow because, well...it is! Billy builds it on the weekends with the help of friends after working about a 65 hour work week at his paying job. He has taken 1 day off in the past 5 months. When the house is finally finished ( we are aiming for the end of "08) we are planning a nice long vacation - and NOT the kind where you stay home and take care of all of the projects around the house! We are talking Mexico or New Zealand here (I vote for Southeast Asia, but I will be out voted).

Zebra okole (butt)

2008-08-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

We visited our hawaiian zebra friend again last weekend on our trek to the south end of the island to help Auntie Malia move. Asha commented on how truly bizarre it is to see a zebra in Hawaii since they are native to Mexico! :) Of course, Maya very quickly corrected her and gave us all a short course on the origins and habits of the zebra. We then wondered if a zebra and a donkey could mate and what would you call the offspring? A zonkey? A Zebkey? A donkbra? A Debra? Of course, if it was a mule in there with it there would be no possibility of a mubra or a zule.

For some reason we were all amused by the sight of the zebra's butt.

The other photo card shots

2008-08-07T12:05:00.001-07:00

Ti leaf

2008-08-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

This is one of the photos I used for a set of greeting cards I made for my sister, Malia, for her birthday. I used photos I had taken of plants in her yard at her new house. The black bamboo a few posts ago was another.

Tutu's garden

2008-08-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

This little guy was in my Mom's garden during my 3 day visit to Oly in July. Do you think he/she was white before he/she found it's way to this particular flower?

Gourmet

2008-08-07T01:02:00.000-07:00

I have been taking photos of plants lately. I love this one of this guava because it looks so perfectly cut - like the fruit on display at one of the resort brunches - yet it still hangs on the tree. Who 's art work is this? Who is the food stylist here? My guess is a rat. You never see a mongoose in a tree. Do they climb? I have seen rat silhouettes (sp?) in the trees at sunset. Bats? I also love this photo because I have been eating only fresh, raw foods recently. Initially I was interested in this idea of being influenced by the energy of your food. You are what you eat.... As I began to test this on myself I found it to be very powerfully true. I began to ask myself, " How will you feel if you eat that?" I found myself being drawn to incredibly fresh raw foods when answering that question. The more alive my food is the more alive I feel. I am an accidental raw foodist, I guess. It just happened. Now I am reading and finding that people do eat this way precisely because it feels so good. I don't want to limit myself with a label. I am not dogmatic, just really tuned into what my body is wanting. This photo represents where I am being drawn. The pinnacle of wild and alive and fresh and raw!

Asha & Bamboo

2008-08-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

Camp musings

2008-07-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

Cyrus spent last week at camp - Mon- Sat. It seemed like he was gone for a very long time! We all missed him. He had a blast and was so glad he went. He seems more sure of himself - a little more independent. When I dropped him off and was saying goodbye it was the very first time ever that he didn't really hug me back. We were surrounded by kids - many of whom he knew from baseball or tennis. I understood. It was bittersweet. But he hugged all of us individually - big bear hugs - when we picked him up at the end of the week. We were still surrounded by the same folks, but then he was hugging them too! It was a joy to see him stand up in front of all of the camp and parents and give an account of the day they had visiting musicians. He also performed wth his "ohana" cabin group their haka - or war chant. Now that was something I would never have thought he'd do!

Of course, we have heard story after story about his week away. Many of is stories are about the adults and the things that made them crazy and, as Cyrus said, made them "get mad at us for no reason". The way he tells the stories it is apparent that much of how and why the adults reacted as they did was mysterious and curious to him. I was reading at the Blog of the Zombie Princess today and looking at her photos of the RU Fun camp out that happened this past week on Salt Spring Island in BC Canada. All Radically Unschooling families - oh the bliss! One of the photos captions reads: "Glow sticks anyone?". It made me smile. Cyrus told a story from camp about the director's youngest son who had found her stash of glow sticks that she had brought and passed them out. The whoops of joy caught her attention and apparently she was miffed! "Where did you get those?" Blah Blah Blah. The kids were having a blast, but she couldn't get passed being pissed that they had been passed out before her intended time for them. Cyrus said she finally said, "Well, I guess you should just go ahead and use them now since they are already out!" But she said it in a heavy, annoyed, "but I don't approve" kind of way. What a waste of joy! And then there are the RUers - playing with glo sticks because it is fun, and they feel like it, and they want to, and nobody is telling them, "No! Wait! It isn't time for glo stick fun yet!"

I am so glad he went. But next year I want RU Fun camp!

Friday Fill Ins (a bit late)

2008-07-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 17, 2008
Friday Fill-In #81

1. If I could be a fly on the wall I would ______sometimes_____.

2. Jealousy is not ___my thing____.

3. When I see a shooting star my wish would be that___people I love saw it too_________.

4. I'd rather be___watching waves__ than ___in waves__ any day!

5. Certain songs when I hear them make me wanna ___"pull your skin like wrapping paper round my heart"~ Elvis Costello___.

6. If time were in a bottle ____ I'd sip it slowly in a hammock under the shade of the mango tree_________.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to __seeing Billy___, tomorrow my plans include ___picking up Cyrus from camp! and roasting marshmellows while watching the moonrise over the water at the poperty__ and Sunday, I want to __dance (but I am going to clean my house for guests instead)___!

My family and Other Animals

2008-07-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

Last night it was just the girls and I at home. We watched the Masterpiece Theater production of "My Family and Other Animals" based on the book by Gerald Durrell. We had read the book a while back. We laughed all the way through the movie! At the end of the movie the Mum is quoted as saying, "If you can control your family you have made a very terrible mistake somewhere along the way." And as the family sails away from their zany and wild life on the idylic Greek island of Corfu back to England at the beginning of WWII the mother, in an attempt to see the positives, says to 13 year old Gerald, "well, at least now you can get some education." And Gerald looks at her with a very puzzled expression and says, "Isn't that what I've just been having?" And Mum nods her head at the irony of it all.

Friday Fill Ins

2008-07-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

1. Oh, I can't wait until I have a _Face without zits!!!!_____.

2. ___The # of months til my Mom's next visit ( she always cleans my fridge when she visits)_ is the first thing I see when I open my refrigerator.

3. I never leave home without __my car, unfortunately_______.

4. If I were a condiment, I would be ___mango chutney - sweet, exotic and a little bit sassy!___ because __that is the secret me:)____.

5. _stepping on chunks of avocado in the kitchen - eeeeww ____ is really high up on my list of pet peeves.

6. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was _"I wish I hadn't had that last glass of wine"__________.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _more of that yummy wine I had last night____, tomorrow my plans include ___working in the concessions booth at the little league All Stars tournament and cooking the fresh lobsters for lunch for the crew that the framers are going diving for at 3 am tonight before they come to our property to help Billy finish the floor of our house tomorrow!! __ and Sunday, I want to __go to the beach!___!
Posted by Janet at 10:16 PM

Carport view

2008-07-06T12:50:00.001-07:00

I love looking up at these trees from our carport. There is something about the date palm shape - reminds me of fireworks- juxtaposed with the rigid vertical lines of the lodgepole pines. And the sound the wind makes in each one is so distinct and so different. The palm sounds like rain, only a little calckity (I'm pretty sure that's not a word, but it describes the sound well.) -more like a rain stick sound because the individual fronds are quite rigid. The pines whistle and remind me of being in the mountains. It often seems strange that they grow so near one another.

Life IS Good!

2008-07-06T12:48:00.001-07:00

AAAAHHH...life is good....

Uncle Charlie- the purrfect breed

2008-07-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

All of the cats that I have liked in my life (a grand total of 4) have shared one common trait....they are all part dog...

MMMMMarshmellows!

2008-07-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

There She Goes!

2008-07-02T15:18:00.001-07:00

Maya went into town all by herself to meet Auntie Malia for a walk with her dogs...

Oh The Drudgery

2008-07-02T15:08:00.001-07:00

Sshhhh!.... Don't tell the girls that cleaning the floor is no fun.......
The key is to first work up a good lather.

That way you slide much better!

Root Beer Floats! YUM!

2008-06-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

I've looked at clouds from both sides now...

2008-06-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

There are times (see yesterday's post) that I get really caught up in the chaotic pace of our days and I lose site of the trees and only see the forest- a jumbled mass of twisted, intertwining branches and gnarled undergrowth beneath a canopy so thick that daylight hardly penetrates... Luckily, there are moments to reflect and remember the sweet things that blossomed from the chaos.

Today it was watching the clouds and trying to assess the weather and my chances of being able to mow (still in that "what's next mode") that reminded me of a part of yesterday that I was so glad to have had. On the hour long drive home from Kona Cyrus and I started talking about which movies were coming out that we would like to see. Our nearest theater is in Kona.

We started talking about the trailer for "Journey To The Center Of The Earth" and how it just seemed too far fetched to be enjoyable. That started a discussion about what makes for a good fantasy or sci fi movie and then the role of myth in cultures and how our willingness to entertain one theory over another is cultivated or influenced and how that shapes us as people and as societies. Naturally (?) this led to us talking about our favorite scenes from "The Office" and just what makes that show so d#*n funny! Then Cyrus reenacted about 75% of John Stuart's show from the night before that I had missed while I slept. Through all of this we kept our eyes on the sky - always on the lookout for good cloud formations. Our drive to Kona follows the coastline the entire way and the sky is vast and never, ever totally without clouds! And huge cumulus ones at that. In 16 years I have never seen a cloudless sky in Hawaii! (perhaps due to the fact that we are entirely surrounded by water? :) So it is rare that someone doesn't point out a cloud that looks like a cow wrestling a bearded lady, or Marge Simpson eating a dinasaur while riding a unicycle. Yesterday was no exception.

Our conversation faded and we focused only on cloud identification for a while until Cyrus told me that all cars have a rating based on a scale of 1-10. Cyrus likes ranking and competitions which is ones of the reasons he is so well suited to all things baseball.Cyrus has always had a competitive nature. When he was 3 I was folding laundry and asked my husband off-handedly how many blue shirts he had. Cyrus immediately ran to his dresser and came back to announce that he had 4! Billy had more than 4. Cyrus ran to his dresser again and came back asking how many red shirts did Billy have. Billy answered, "3". Cyrus frowned and turned back to his dresser with determination. A moment later he returned, "Dad, how many orange shirts do you have?" Billy had 1. Cyrus raised his arms in triumph, "YES!" The kid can and will find a way to turn just about anything into a competition. So this car rating system is a new one in a long line of ways that Cyrus looks at and compares and contrasts everyday objects and experiences. Several years ago I was fascinated to learn that we think about letters in a similar way. They each have a quality (thin, fat, fast, mean, dominant, shy, etc) that defines them, but that doesn't always have to do with their physical appearance. Anyway, back to cars, Cyrus demonstrated his system by telling me the rating of each car we passed. (My green 2001 Mazda MPV is a 4- by the way. Billy's 2007 4door Ford F150 is an 8). He told me most cars in our town are about a 2 with a smattering of 3-4's thrown in and an occasional 7-8. Just as we passed through Hawi town (don't blink!) We passed a small, dark Hummer. "OH YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I"M TALKIN' ABOUT!!" He yelled out as he pounded on the dashboard. I had to look around to make sure I hadn't suddenly been transported to a Nascar race or the room with the beer bong at a college frat party. "That is a 9+ !!" Why not a 10, you may ask? To be a 10 it would need to be full size, black, with tinted windows and way cooler rims. Any chrome would help too.

All this to say that I got to have a bit of one on one time with my very favorite 11 year olds and the cool part is that he thought it was great too! We enjoy each other's company. He is interesting and thoughtful and our conversations are never boring. He makes me laugh and blows me away and he even humors me when I sing...most of the time:). He has a keen awareness of himself and a compassionate understanding about the people around him. In the chaos of the past days there were lucky nuggets like this one. I'm just so glad I get to have them. I'm just so glad that I stopped spazzing out long enough to recognize how lucky I am!

It's only day TWO?

2008-06-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

These are my crazy days of summer. When do the Lazy ones begin?:)

Time is such a funny thing. It seems like days ago that I committed to daily blogging. Our days have been so full that it feels as if we are literally packing in many days worth of - well, you name it, into each one. Here's a slice...chew slowly:
Yesterday was a little slower. We had swim lessons (Asha) at 9am. Home to clean for the first time in weeks and adress stuff we need for hurricane insurance on the new house and cook dinner. 1 pm swim lesson for Maya + post office - twice, credit union, library, market, drop Asha with a friend at craft hour at the library so she can catch a ride to aikido while I take Cyrus to the pediatrician - we suspected swimmer's ear which he's had before and we didn't want to let it go through the night because it is so painful. The Dr. is a 45 min drive each way. While in town for that we run errands to the health food store, wine store, and market. Because of the rush we have packed no food so the kids get some take out chinese. We also go to the pharmacy. Back to Kohala where we meet Asha at her friend's hula class. Instead of watching she is (surprise surprise) right in the middle of the class! So we head out to Makapala to drop Padma's wine order at her house. Back to get Asha and home to finish cleaning the downstairs (tomorrow Kristy will babysit and last time told me she swept and vacuumed because so much stuff was sticking to her feet! :O So True!!
Today: wake at 4:50am. Decide to get up and make omelet for Billy - a rare treat I assure you! And when I say "rare" I mean like maybe 3 times total in 15 years of marriage! He leaves just before 6 and I make tons of french toast for Maya to have in the fridge and a gluten free batch for Asha. Then I prep dinner, clean out my fridge and make snacks for the kids to take to the pool later. I check my email and get kids fed. We head out for Asha's lessons at 9 am. Yeah me for knowing where her wet suit is because it is raining! We go home and I eat and pack up for the next pool outing (at 1 which Padma will drive them all to for me) and tennis lessons. Kristie shows up to babysit at the same time that Rachel's Dad drops her off for the day. Cyrus and I leave for our 12pm appt in Kona (1 hour drive each way!) at the chiropractor. We get stuck in totally needless traffic and head straight back only stopping at Costco to fill the gas tank (for $3.49/gal!!!!) I go straight to the park in Kohala -after dropping Cyrus at home to dress for baseball -to relieve Kristie and get kids changed for tennis. Tennis starts at 3 and I go get Cyrus for practice. Rachel's Dad picks her up at tennis. The girl's and I go home and start dinner then go back to pick up Cyrus at 6. Home to cook, dinner, showers, bed?? I think my husband showed up in time for dinner, but he was so tired he fell asleep on the couch and had to be roused to eat, which he did before stumbling into a shower and off to bed. Maya headed up to bed with Billy Bo. Asha went up to climb in with him about an hour later and I cleaned the kitchen and showered and am off to bed myself. It is raining and blowing gusty wind again. A good thing since we need it and it helps me sleep well, but I hope tomorrow it is clearer- and warmer for the 9am swim lesson! Cyrus is playing WOW and that's where I will leave him. Writing about our recent days events has been nearly as exhausting as living them!

I started out thinking about the passing of time and how it relates (at least in a linear fashion) to the kids and how they are changing. But then my brain went into hyper logistics management mode. I couldn't find the "off" switch and this is what came out. I think I will not make a habit of this here. Yes, it would now be appropriate for you to mutter "thank heavens already!!" And yes, the run on sentences strung together into unmanageable paragraphs is a little trick I purposefully employed to help convey the sense of " OMG this family is f%^**#G out of their mind and someone should tell them that they have far more scheduled activities than ANY child needs or wants!!!! (every child except for mine - which is actually what I will write about tomorrow:) Breathe in ...Breathe out..."clear the mechanism" (this is where the off switch comes in handy)....go to sleep.........

The More Blogs The Merrier

2008-06-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I committed to writing at this blog everyday for the next 40 days so, naturally, I took some time last night to start another new blog:) I guess it was all of this thinking about what to write that go me thinking about how I spend my time online and about the communities I am a part of - even if only as a reader/lurker/blogstalker. I read blogs and yahoo groups dedicated to RU. But I also read blogs and yahoo groups dedicated to living gluten free (GF) as my youngest, Asha, has celiac disease.

When she was first diagnosed I was desperate to find other folks who were living GF with kids and now that I am a bit more experienced at it I thought I'd like to have a place to share what I've learned and how we manage being GF in the world of parties and playdates and potlucks and soccer snacks.

Without stating it as such - so as not to scare anyone away - I also want to add an RU voice to living life with a child with celiac disease. the only treatment for managing the disease is to completely eliminate gluten from your diet (actually pretty cool when you consider that there are no drugs to take or doctors to rely on). So many parents online talk about the struggles they have with their kids and how their child "sneaks" gluten foods and how this lifestyle is such a struggle for them and the entire family. I want to write about another way. I want to write about how I am my daughter's partner and ally. I want to write about how I help my daughter feel empowered in her own quest to feel good and be healthy. I want to explore the joy that you can find in living gluten free! So last night I started GlutenFreeInHarmony . I intend for it to be a place for me to talk about what works for us and what hasn't. I will share resources and links to articles and websites that I find useful. I will share recipes I have successfully converted and write about my experiences with a GF kid in a non GF home and how we find the balance and help to keep her safe. I will write about this part of my journey as a mom. I'm excited to possibly offer hope to parents of newly diagnosed kids with CD and to show them a kinder, gentler GF life with their families that focuses on the abundance of a GF lifestyle rather than on denial and lack.

Post 1 -forming a blog writing habit

2008-06-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

So it was only a couple of short years ago that I remarked to a friend, "Blogging seems so stupid! I mean who on earth would want to write their thoughts and put them out on the web for anyone in the world to read? And what kind of loser has nothing better to do with their time than read other people's thoughts on the web? Geesh!" (OK - I didn't really say it mean and nasty like that, but I really didn't get the whole blogging thing.)

As has happened more times than I can count since I really began this RU life in earnest (as opposed to just in theory - as I did for far too long ;) I am once again eating my words. I have become a full-on blogaholic. I begin my days reading the words of my favorite bloggers (the majority of whom have not a clue who I am or even that I exist) and I get anxious when they don't post for a day or two. Don't they know what an important part of my day they are? No? That may have something to do with the fact that they DON"T KNOW I EXIST! Is it possible that they are not writing purely for my benefit?

All of this blog reading has inspired me -countless times- to start my own blog. I have created blogs...countless times. OK -part of this has to do with the fact that I think up a good blog name that I just have to have. But I realized after reading all of these blogs I like for a while that there is a blogger community out there and I want to be a part of it. My problem has been committing to posting. So in an attempt to create a healthy and regular blogging habit I am setting a goal for myself to post once a day - no matter how short- for the next 40 days (that's how long my cello teacher told me that it takes to form a habit. I have since heard other estimates, but she must have told me forty times because - well - that's my habit :)

So blogging here I come. No excuses (believe me I have many I could choose from:) If I spend even a fraction of the time writing on my blog that I do reading at other's I will have no trouble at all.

P.S. The best part about eating your words is when you have digested them, extracted all of the nutrients you need from them and then pooped them out.

She said it

2008-06-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Today I had one of those conversations that made me realize just how much of an impact RU has had on my life. I was chatting with a friend who mentioned that she didn't know what she was going to do school wise next year with her 6 year old daughter. Her daughter has been attending our very small and very fledgling "Waldorf Inspired" school here in town since it began about 4 years ago. Next year the school will not be offering a program for the younger set as the teacher now has a dedicated group of older kids to join her own child. This friend of mine said she is really open to exploring options and that "other than reading and writing" she doesn't have any expectations or see any need for "educating" her child in any formal sense. I have learned to bite my tongue in conversations like this. Too often in the past I have used statements like these to launch right into extolling the virtues of an unschooled life. But I have finally realized that making a statement like the one she made is not necessarily an indication of a willingness or ability to join me on my trek into the back country of RU. I tend to alienate a lot fewer folks if I am willing to meet them where they are and offer glimpses of the trailhead that leads down my path with some honest descriptions of the terrain and highlights of the amazing features we enjoy out on the trail.

She asked me some questions about the legalities of unschooling and I offered to lend her some books and to direct her to some good websites. Then she said it: "I love the idea of it. I just need a break from her sometimes. I would love to have somewhere to send her for an hour or 2 so I could have some time to myself. I just really need that." That was when I had to smile to myself, not smugly or anything, just because I realized that I don't say that anymore! I don't even think that anymore! How cool is that? Part of it is that the kids are getting older and there isn't as much intensive physical caretaking needed from me, but it is so much more profound than that. Ibegan to think to think about when and how this shift happened. I have always loved being with my kids and never could imagine sending them away to school. The folks who say to me, "I just couldn't spend all that time with my kids!" always have left me with my mouth hanging agape. But a little time to myself, now that I could relate to.

Although I didn't have a name for it, RU was really the way I envisioned living with my children long before I ever had them. I'd read John Holt and others and had a subscription to GWS before I was even married. My own overwhelming feelings about being forced to do so many things I didn't want to do as a child - chief among them going to school and church- had made me really think about how we treat kids. I wanted nothing more as a kid myself than to be grown up so nobody could tell me what to do anymore! I wanted nothing more for my own kids than for them to feel like they had a real and important life WHILE STILL A KID! Then they arrived and I found myself drawn to the AP crowd because they didn't judge me for cosleeping or extended nursing or ec or talking about our choice to homeschool, but they sure judged everyone else who didn't subscribe to the AP way and after a while I recognized the ugliness of their self righteousness in myself. Yucky!

As the kids reached school ages very slowly but very surely we began to slide into the expectations mind set. We were still committed to homeschooling, but the shift from making decisions for a baby toddler about what was best for them and us as a family to having kids who were increasingly wanting to make their own decisions felt scary. I was filling up with fear. Fear that made me think of life in terms of good vs. bad about everything from movies to food to toys and interests. I found myself staring my control freak self in the mirror and ooohh she was U-G-L-Y (and she ain't got no alibi!!!!) Tension was high. We were by no means a "mainstream" family, but none of us was happy with the way things were going. All of these expectations (mine) and control issues (mine again:) were STRESSING US ALL OUT!!!!! And yes, I felt a need to have time alone. I never felt as though I got enough time alone. If I could just have an hour or 2 - oh hell, who was I kidding? I just wanted to go to the bathroom alone! The more I think about it the faster I am typing.... my shoulders are up by my earlobes... I am chewing my gum reallyreallyreallyfast!!!!!!!!!! AARRRGHG......B R E A T H E .....

I clearly remember the day I thought to google "unschooling". I found people I liked immediately. I joined yahoo groups and read for hours into the night. I wasn't the only person in the world who had ever envisioned a world where children were free! There was even a name for the way I'd always dreamed I'd live with my family and there were people who were actually doing it!!! RU kicked my control freak butt!! and it didn't even hurt.

Our journey into the RU wilderness began in earnest about 3.5 years ago and the deeper we trek into the wild, the more I find myself eager to spend as much time as possible with my kiddos while I still can. Letting go of all of those expectations made room for me to see what's already there. I get to spend my day with the coolest people doing the coolest stuff. Sometimes that "stuff" is just hanging around the house, but the vibe is so enjoyable that it feels cool anyway. It is the way we are together. It is not that there is never tension, but tension is not our usual m.o. and it is not caused by a mom who is fighting What Is. The more I let go of judgements the more I get to enjoy everything. (It is really hard to enjoy a TV show with your kids when you have already decided that said show is "crap" or "stupid" etc.) I still enjoy time all by myself, but I do not see it as a survival tool anymore. Letting go of the struggle made so much more space in my life. This is what I want to tell that mom friend of mine. We are living the secret of a happy and joyful life with kids.

Kitten Update

2008-06-14T02:27:00.001-07:00

A quick update on my new favorite cat (and believe me it is a VERY short list!) Gray Stripe aka Gracie turns out to be a boy and his name has changed to accompany the news. He will from here on out be known as "Charlie Gray Stripe" aka Charlie. Representing both a nod to the Warrior series that Cyrus and Maya have been reading and another name for the curve ball that was being discussed at the moment in time that Charlie called to us to come and find his teeny little self in the bushes because he needed a family like us.

Sweet Dreams

2008-06-14T02:11:00.001-07:00

Here is the sweet scene I found as I made the rounds checking in on everyone on my way to bed tonight:

This sums up Cyrus and Asha's relationship pretty well. He has held her close to his heart ever since he assisted us at her birth. What a lovely image for me to take with me into my dreams.

King Kamehameha Day

2008-06-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

It was a big day in our little town. The parade went right by the house. Elana's mom dropped her off here to watch with us and then went down to Aloha gas to watch with some friends. She called to say she was going to head our way to pick up the girls to take them to the festival, but I had to tell her to wait. The parade hadn't even reached us yet even though it was already over for her!! LOL

Waiting for the parade:

note the plastic bags in anticipation of candy throwing.

OH look!!! Here comes the parade!!!

Really - it is coming......

We use the term "float " loosely around here. This is the big-pink-semi-with-folks- riding-on-it float.

This is another example of a very Kohala style "float":

See - they have candy to throw.

And here are the ladies from our credit union. Funny when the ladies on your CU float say shout out "Hi Alyse".

The Pa'u riders are the big deal of the parade. We watched a special on the pa'u riders once and what an honor it is to be asked to ride and all the prep that goes into it and how they fashion the fabric and everything (it is held in place with a kukui nut!). I always liked the hair pieces. My friend Suzie always helps do the hair and these women start to get ready at about 4 am with decorating the horses and themselves on the day of the parade! Not to mention all the prep the day before in gathering materials and making all the lei!

There is always a competition to see who has the best pooper scooper set up:

My favorite was Pele:

At the end of the day it is really all about the candy! So Let the trading begin!

Directly after the parade is the ho'olau'lea - the festival. Traditionally this has always been held at Kamehameha Park gym, but the gym had extensive damage from the earthquake and won't be ready to use again for at least another year and a half. So it has been held since at the the old morman gym that is now the home of the North Kohala Hawaiian Civic Club in Hawi. What does all of this mean for us here in Hawi town you may ask? ........TRAFFIC!!!! We were impressed enough by this bizarre sight to capture it on film!

We didn't go to the lei draping ceremony this year, but here is the king all dressed up for his special day:

New Tricks

2008-06-07T16:32:00.001-07:00

Our old dog has learned a new trick....

Soda and new kitty, Grey Stripe, have forged their way to an understanding and, dare I say, a friendship of sorts.